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Protect Your Child Against Depression and Anxiety in Adulthood

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April 8, 2013
Guest Post, Parenting
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Today’s guest post is from Angela Prickette, a recent college graduate. She currently works independently as a freelance writer and photographer. She enjoys snow skiing, hiking, and rock climbing.

In the protect your child against depressionpast few decades there has been a significant increase in the amount of teenagers and adults diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Often the development of these disorders can be traced back to childhood. When raising a child, parents should be mindful of the ways they can protect their child from developing depression, anxiety or related illnesses.

One of the biggest benefits parents can provide their children with is the chance to play independently with peers. Unstructured play time not only fosters creativity, but also helps children develop the coping skills needed to face various challenges that they will encounter. Parents who shelter their children by over-controlling their play, though often well-intentioned, are actually doing their children a disservice in the long run

“Social interaction with peers is also a crucial part of developing resiliency and life skills as a child,” according to author Michael Myles. Playing with peers helps children see their is life outside of themselves and learn to care and respond to the needs of others. Establishing this mindset early on can help children learn to adjust to being in groups and it actively fights the anxiety that some people struggle with when being in groups or with new people.

For parents who struggled themselves with any form of depression or anxiety, it is very important to model shared decision making for children. What is shared decision making?

It is simply approaching medical decisions as a team, with communication from patients and care professionals. Using this approach and being intentional about doing so, helps children see that it is okay to seek help, but also important to have input. Children who see their parents using shared decision making for their own health care will understand how to be proactive in getting help while avoiding learned helplessness or taking the standpoint that people are just victims of depression or anxiety.

Another important thing to model for kids that may help prevent depression or anxiety is coping with stress in healthy ways. Seeing parents use techniques like exercise or lists, rather than stress-eating or over indulgence can help kids learn to focus on healthy habits for themselves. Also, when parents are upfront about stressful life situations and able to talk them through (when age-appropriate) it can be a powerful example for children. Children take so many cues from adults, including how to deal with stress, make decisions and show resilience.

Busy Much?

By
December 3, 2012
Spirituality, Thoughts
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When was the last you took the to just sit and do nothing? Waiting in line, at a traffic light, or for a medical appointment doesn’t count. Seriously, when was the last you walked into a room, sat down, and did nothing – for awhile? Scheduled, or unscheduled? Or, when was the last you went for a walk on the beach, a stroll through the woods, or sat on an isolated hilltop? If an example doesn’t leap out at you, stop, think about it for a minute, and try to remember the last .

The last time I allowed myself to just be, was quite awhile ago. When I think back to the event, I remember feeling free, peaceful, and relaxed. In fact, coming out of that time away, better prepared me to face the . Family, finances, and career pressures seemed to just slip away with the breeze. My guess is, it was the same for you.

It’s been said that just 10-15 minutes of meditation will allow us to be better prepared for the day and more productive overall. But I have to admit, usually, I’m so sleep deprived that I’d rather hit the snooze button and get an extra nine minutes of sleep. Often I’ll hit the snooze button two or . Not only do I miss out on some quality quiet time in the morning, but then I am rushed to get out of the house on time, I eat breakfast in the car, and I miss out on some quality time with my family. From there, the day just gets worse.

The Bible tells us that in the last days of Earth’s history, “many will rush here and there, and knowledge will increase.” ~Daniel 12:4 Too many times, I’ve found myself rushing from one event to the next. Driving too fast, with a burger in one hand, the cell phone in the other, and guzzling caffeinated beverages to fuel the fire.

Several years ago I found myself unable to sit still – even if I had the time. I didn’t know how to sit still. I didn’t want to sit still. If I was in a meeting, to a lecture, or working on a project that required me to sit still, I would chew gum, trim my fingernails, or doodle. At the very least, my foot would be tapping and I’d constantly watch the clock.

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I finally realized that I was trying to do too much in too little time. Not only was I sleep deprived, but I was stressed, physically unhealthy, and often ill. It seemed as if I would get some form of a cold or flu about once a month. Plus I was cranky and unpleasant. I had to ask myself, is this really the way I want to live?

One day, I sat down and took stock of my time. I found that out of a 168 hour week, I was busy doing something at least 130 of those hours. This left me with 38 hours to sleep, eat, exercise, read, watch TV, and chill. In other words, I was left with 5½ hours a day to be a human being, instead of a human doing. Obviously this was unworkable.

It was at this point I discovered the concept of a sabbath day’s rest. To take one day out of seven to do nothing that will further my position in the rat race. Nothing job related, nothing that I have to do, and nothing that would cause me to feel rushed, busy, or stressed. Indeed, I reserved this day for things that would restore my soul – emotionally, physically, spiritually, and socially.

Of course one cannot simply decide to do this, it takes preparation and planning. There are many changes necessary to free up a 24 hour block of time that enables me to rest, recharge, regenerate, and . For me, it is about and values. I make constant choices during the week, that allow me to enjoy a weekly sabbatical. It takes and is always a challenge, but the are tremendous.

Now, almost 30 years later, since I made this choice, I am healthier, calmer, and I can sit still once in awhile. Where it used to be common for me to eat all of my meals in the car, now that is a rare event. I no longer need stimulants or depressants to manage my sleep and wakefulness. I also have the time to read, go for walks, and chill with my family. It is a great place to be.

Once a week, I put away my cares and relax. And about once a month, I take the time to go for a walk on the beach, a stroll through a forest, or to sit on a hilltop watching creation pass me by. Life is .

Hope Indeed

By
October 21, 2012
Parenting, Spirituality, Thoughts
4 Comments

The kids couldn’t ride with me in the truck because I couldn’t figure out how to disable the passenger-side airbag. So I got had to drive cross country by myself. I know each of the kids would have enjoyed some time in the truck, and my Wonderful Wife would have appreciated a bit of a break. I, on the other hand, really enjoy my time alone on the road. It always gives me time to process.

(this is the missing piece from last week’s post found here)

After dealing with the ordeals of liquidation, packing, moving, and leaving our Oregon life behind, I had two huge fears. First was the fear of mechanical failure in the truck and van. The other was my fear of traffic, motor vehicle crashes, and the loss of my family.

The truck was overloaded. In fact, we left several nice items behind based purely on weight (I kept thinking about all the covered wagons on the Oregon Trail that tossed out prized possessions along the journey). The radiator leaked, I wasn’t too sure about the engine – with over  250+k miles, and the rear tires don’t have much tread left on them. I was actually ”OK” with a breakdown, though the prospect of unexpected financial costs were somewhat daunting. It was the fear of a catastrophic accident that frightened me – and leaving my family fatherless.

I read recently that “all emergency responders are wounded.” The PTSD is cumulative. We, paramedics, firefighters, EMTs, and police officers, see things no sane person should see – and few of us remain sane after seeing all of this. Whenever I see loved ones get into a car, a twinge of fear goes through my heart. This is the fear I had for my family driving cross country. Despite my own paranoia, driving does remain on of the most dangerous activities any of us will participate in. I never feared death until I had a family – now, I fear their deaths, and my own.

After realizing the fear and sorrow of this whole ordeal, confessing and admitting it, I was better able to hit the road – but the above fears continued to haunt me. But a few days into the journey, I experienced a breakthrough.

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Several years ago, I had the opportunity to hear Dr. Larry Crabb speak at a conference in Denver. I was impressed with his views on community and God’s love. I bought a couple of his books and MP3 audio presentations, but due to our hectic life over the past six years, I never really took the opportunity to explore his material – until last week. After two days of driving, I pulled up the audio version of his book, Finding God.

I love the synchronicity of perfect timing. I’m sure I would have enjoyed the book before, and I’m certain it would have spoken to me, but the healing power of this book was made more powerful after the perfect storm of fear I experienced during our exodus from Oregon.

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