Tag Archives: dad

Several months ago my Smiling Son began to notice his penis would “stick up.” Usually this was in the middle of the night, or in the mornings, when he had to urinate. I was a bit freaked out by it, but not noticeably so. As you can imagine, I haven’t seen a lot of erect penises. The first time I had to redirect it so his pee would actually go in the toilet, I was actually a little weirded out. But I didn’t give it too much thought.

Last week, he began to ask me about it. He wondered why it dis this and what it meant? I didn’t have a good answer, but I knew the Internets did – so I got online to get some advice. My Wonderful Wife is doing a great job of teaching these things to our Darling Daughter. Now it’s my turn to step up and teach our son – without scarring him for life.

I can’t imagine how parents handled these issues before the Internet. Well, actually I can – because I was raised by parents who wouldn’t tough these subjects. My Dad didn’t have “the talk” with me until I was about 12 or 13. Which was too late, by the way. And anytime my body went through changes related to puberty, my parents got embarrassed and changed the subject. I don’t want to raise my kids that way.

We have always used correct verbiage when relating to body parts and functions. We are just matter of fact and we don’t avoid talking about these things. We don’t tease them, make fun, or refer to these things with sarcasm or put downs. So, after a brief search online, and reading some very good advice, this is how I talked to my son about his erections:

First, I told him that “this is normal.”
Second, “it happens to all men and boys,” I offered.
Third, I said “it usually happens when we have to urinate” – or at other times.
Fourth, I explained that “if we just go pee, or forget about it, it will go away.”

At this point, he was satisfied with my explanation and we moved on to other topics. As with many discussions about “sensitive” topics, the experts suggest you not share too much, or explain more than the kids are prepared to handle. So, I stopped My five year-old doesn’t care about reproduction and all the details about what erections are for. But he will! Because of that, I’ll be ready for the next conversations.

Interestingly, after we had this little chat, and as I was saying goodnight to Smiling Son and Darling Daughter (who is now eight), my son mentioned that he had an erection – which caused my daughter to ask questions. I wasn’t quite ready for that conversation – but as we talked, I realized this was a good discussion for her too. And it didn’t really go much further than the earlier conversation with my son.

My daughter wrapped up the conversation telling me about watching a male horse pee. We had been at a branding earlier in the day, and I saw her watching this horse and how fascinated she was by the experience. Later my wife and I talked – our conclusion – there’s nothing like a life on the farm, or ranch, to educate your kids.

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Note: When I started this blog, I thought it would be a good place to process my learning curve as a parent. Somewhere along the way, it became a place to process my own passage into adulthood – inspired by my kids, my wife, my employment, and other aspects that come along. Since life is beginning to sort itself out, I want to return to my original paradigm and vision for this space.

Guest Post: Parenting…Ah the joys….

By Guest Contributor

February 1, 2013

Guest Post, Parenting, Spirituality

Here is a guest post from my favorite Brother, Roger Walter.

I just finished reading a book called, “Raising Godly Tomatoes” by L. Elizabeth Krueger. It’s a great book on child-raising, filled with practical advice and most of all, it seems, Godly advice. I suppose I wished I would have had this when my oldest children were young.

This woman has raised, is raising 10 children ages 7-27! Wow…that’s even better than my wife and us! But one of the things that struck me towards the end of the book is when she said (paraphrase) It’s understandable that secular people go to secular humanism to find out answers to raising their children. But why do Christian parents do that. Sadly, most parents don’t even know all the evidence towards raising children that is found in the Bible.

I bought the book – even though you can basically get it for free by reading the website. I find books easier to read than websites. I recommend it highly and found very little I didn’t agree with. You should read it if your kids are anywhere between the ages of 0-20. I wish I would have had the last couple of chapters years ago – the note to raising the parents….hmmmm….

Parenting is full of joy. But it can also be frustrating. The goal isn’t to raise kids to be mannerly and responsible – although we should strive for that too, but the goal really ought to be to raise our kids into Godly Adults.

My wife’s and my personal mission statement is this: “As we grow in holiness we are called to raise responsible leaders who are shot out as flaming arrows to ignite the world for Christ.”

Get the book – it’s worth the read (even if you are a grandparent).