Just Five Years Ago

Yesterday I was interviewed as part of a local worship experience. It was fun, I enjoyed the experience, and the the topic is one I have passion about. This morning however, when I got up too early, I watched the online video of the presentation. I immediately noticed how very old I looked. In fact, I looked as old as I feel.

For several months I have been plodding along, just (barely) putting one foot in front of the other – living one day at a time. I believe I’ve aged about 10 years in the last three or four. It wasn’t that long ago that people typically guessed me to be about 10 years younger than I am. A few weeks ago, a clerk asked me if I was eligible for the senior discount. #sigh


When I watched this video I immediately became trapped between motivation and discouragement. There is a part of me that wants to push forward and lose the extra 20 pounds, start exercising, and strive to get enough sleep. Another part of me is ready to throw in the towel and become a full-time slug.

So, today I was a slug. I have three more weeks of time off – I wonder what I’ll do with that?

I told my wife this morning how tired and old I looked in the video and how discouraging that is. She just nodded – and then pulled out a photo from a few years ago that she plans to show our counselor. So, so hard to grasp reality sometimes.

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  1. Mike Hansen says:

    The goatee looks remarkably similar though.  You’ve been in the trenches, brother.

  2. […] } #themeHeader #titleAndDescription * { color: black; } – Today, 8:51 […]

  3. Jennifer says:

    Oops, I guess I should have been listening to you instead of reaching for the pic. I’m sorry. Still working on listening a lot more, rather than speaking what I want to say. But as Mike said, you HAVE been in the trenches. Just having this month to rest a little is helping you see wider than just the next step you need to take to slog through another tough day. You’ll get “there”, one step at a time. I have faith that you will. And I do love you. xoxoxo

  4. Valinda Lee says:

    This is what’s worked well for me the last couple of years: I’ve joined a running club in my city and it has been an incredibly rewarding experience. I was terrified of the first meeting–am I going to be the slowest one there? What if I don’t like the people? I’ve ran with college kids and grandparents well into their 60’s, and–for the first time in my life–feel like a member of the community that I live in. I’ve also accomplished things I thought only crazy people did, namely running a marathon. Twice. When you knew me I never would have described myself as athletic.

    In my training I’ve learned that there are sometimes just really bad days. Bad runs that make you question everything. (Maybe in this case bad videos and bad lighting.) But with supportive people around, including an amazing sports doctor for me, you can come back and have some really awesome days, too.  

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