This time of year we hear a lot of music that we don’t normally hear. Some of it isn’t actually Christmas music, but we only hear it during the holiday season. As I drove to work the other morning, a song came on the radio that stirred up those usual warm Christmastime feelings. It’s a very well written song, usually performed by Dean Martin and Doris Day. And then I listened to the words.
The song captures perfectly the lust and temptation of dating. That’s one of the reasons this song is so amazing, because the capturing of those moments. He is seducing, and she is succumbing. According to the Wikipedia article linked above, the original score labeled the conversation with “Wolf” and “Mouse.”
“My belief is that one on one dating is dangerous and group dating is healthier. “
My Wonderful Wife and I were talking about a conversation she had with some friends. Apparently they are teaching their kids to not date. In their view, dating is foreplay. Taking it to it’s natural conclusion, dating leads to sex. While this is a simplistic view – and one that could easily be expanded, I think they have a good point. The song above illustrates this very well – especially in the line: “at least I can say I tried.”
Many abstinence only proponents talk about teenage/premarital sex being bad for three reasons:
- It leads to unwanted pregnancy.
- It can cause disease.
- It is evil and forbidden by the Bible.
Unfortunately, these three arguments are also simplistic. Many people who are teaching abstinence fail to mention the heartbreak, drama, and emotional stunting that occurs. It is difficult to discuss, and even more difficult to explain. A simple NO is easy, but sometimes has little effect.
The reason I think the above song is so brilliant, is because it really does capture the heat that occurs in those moments. When one is in that space, it is really difficult to walk away. If you’re the man, you keep pressing (eg, “one more drink,” “one more cigarette,” baby it’s cold outside…and you can’t get a cab.”). If you’re the woman, you know you should say no (eg; “my sister…” “my brother….” “I really should go…”), but you don’t always want to. It is heavy stuff.
How do we better prepare our kids for these moments?
It’s one thing if you are a young adult, like those portrayed in the movie. But increasingly, young teens are finding themselves in these situations. It isn’t fair to them. They need to be better prepared.
My belief is that one on one dating is dangerous and group dating is healthier. Do you have any suggestions or thoughts on this?