Estranged

Meet Uncle HusseinA few years ago I was burned out, tired, exhausted, and only slightly depressed.  It was not a good time.  I had given my heart and soul to my ’s mission, and now I was paying the price.  I get that, but apparently others didn’t.

In the midst of that process, I grew cranky, directive, and not all that pleasant to be around.  That is no one’s fault but my own.  I most likely needed a sabbatical, some counseling, and some good down time.  Unfortunately, none of that was available.  Well, we did take a five-week vacation, but that actually hurt my reputation with my employer and job.  Indeed, I made some mistakes and lost some very dear in the process.  And before I had an opportunity to repair the damage, we were transferred.

“The sad thing is that I became from some of the closest in my life.”

As a result of an unplanned move, a newborn Smiling Son, and the grey, Oregon Mist, things got worse.  As I mentioned in an earlier post (or two), it was a difficult time for us.  Indeed, I could have handled it better, but I didn’t.  That is water under the bridge.

The sad thing is that I became estranged from some of the closest people in my life.  As some pushed me away, I was seeking to defend my vision, honor, and .  In the process I was trying to reach out to others – but they were unavailable to me.  Possibly they were repulsed by my dysfunctional attempts to survive.  I”m not sure.

  • I currently live an isolated life.  Which is fine, I’ve been isolated before.  But I miss some of those dear people.

Now that I’m regaining my sanity and serenity, I could reach out again to some of those folks, but I don’t want to.  I don’t trust them.  For someone to abandon me (and my family) during our time of crisis, well, it just hurts.  I can forgive, and for the most part I have.  However, I can’t trust them now.  What would keep them from doing that again?

I miss these people, a couple of them are family (biological & immediate), the rest were like family and have known them for years.

I’m moving on…

________________________

I Miss My Dad

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