I tend not to remember people, names, or faces. I figured out a long time ago that it’s because I’m not really a detail person. I catch the greater gestalt of a person, but not their finer details. I see the big picture, but not the details. I see the forest, but rarely take the time to see the trees.
While we may need big picture people in the world, people certainly appreciate when we pay attention to them. Well, I know I do – and I’ve learned that others do too. Remembering a person’s name and face is one of the greatest compliments we can give them. I need to better in this arena.
“Of course I love him. But do I see him as an individual, a real-life, person – of his own right?”
The other day my Smiling Son was talking to me and I was hearing him, but I wasn’t really listening. Later, he put on my glasses and was trying to get my attention. I thought it was cute, and I took several pictures of him. I laughed, he laughed – it was cute. But later, as I was looking for the best photo to upload to Facebook, I saw something in his eyes that I’d never seen before. It scared me.
My little boy had an awareness and intensity that shocked me. He wasn’t just looking at me and smiling his best Smiling Son smile, he had a question in his eyes. “Are you looking Dad? Do you see me? Am I important to you? Do you love me?”
Like I said, it scared me.
Of course I love him. But do I see him as an individual, a real-life, person – of his own right? Do I listen to his heart? Do I see his intricate personality, intelligence, hopes, dreams, and fears? Am I giving him the affirmation and attention he deserves, wants, and needs? Do I still see him as an infant? Do I see him as a toddler? Or, do I see him as the young man he is becoming?
Boys need the attention and affirmation of their Dads. This was my wake up call – but not just for my Smiling Son, but for my Darling Daughter and Wonderful Wife too! Dads are important in the lives of their families – it is my plan to step up and pay better attention to those most important to me.
Are you with me?