I remember responding to the scene of a senseless accident. A four year old boy had been killed when his mother backed the car over him. There are many ways this could have been prevented, but it’s too late to retrace those steps, that boy is gone. It was hard on everyone involved – the visual memories of doing CPR on this boy will haunt me forever.
I can’t even begin to imagine the pain this family must have felt. The guilt and shame of the mother; the deep sense of loss; the ache… In particular, I wonder how the boy’s father dealt with the loss of his son? Did that marriage survive? Most marriages do not survive the loss of a child. I wonder….
Do I love her ‘just because?'”
Today’s Love Dare challenge in about unconditional love. I’ve wondered before if I really have it. Do I love my wife because she’s sexy, smart, fun, a good mother, hospitable, friendly, or some other great trait of hers? Or do I love her “just because?”
What if something unspeakable and horrible happened? What if she made a mistake? What if she wasn’t careful enough; or didn’t take proper precautions? How would I react?
I was actually talking about this to a friend recently. There is the big question of forgiveness – and of course the grief and pain – but more importantly, would I still continue to love unconditionally? People have done far less to me and it took a long time for me to move past it. The loss of one of my children would be, in the true sense of the word, devastating.
How would you react?
I’ve been practicing though. When we were dating my future Wonderful Wife spilled bleach in on the carpet of my 4Runner, but I reacted with a calm smile. A few years ago, a fire hydrant leaped in front of the car, and despite a valiant effort, she was unable to avoid a collision. Again, I wasn’t mad, and I reacted calmly. But could I react the same way to a more horrible event?
I want to be the husband, and father, who gives unconditionally.”
In our culture, we often look for a mate who will make us feel good. Beauty, wealth, sex, fun, smart – we look for things that feed our wants. But true agape’ love is about giving, not receiving. I want to be the husband, and father, who gives, unconditionally, to my Wonderful Wife and kids – despite the circumstances, events, and externals.
Love for my wife needs to be based on more than what she can do for me, but how I can pass on the love that’s been given to me from Above.