Right Now, Right Here
I consume information like most people consume french fries. When I face unusual roadblocks and veritable quandaries, I become like a squirrel during the waning days of Fall – seeking various nuggets to hold me through the Winter of my Discontent. Over the past few days – the last couple of weeks really, my soul has been satiated with a virtual cornucopia of ideas.
While I may have heard of Dr. Freeman Dyson, I didn’t have a readily available hook to remind me of who he might be. However, when my friend Paul tweeted that Dr. Dyson was speaking at the University of Portland last night, after a quick Google/Wikipedia search, I knew I had to attend this panel discussion.
Sitting less than 15 feet from a world-class scientist, I consumed ideas and knowledge – while all the while reformulating perspectives and presumptions. I even had the unique opportunity of asking Dr. Dyson a broad, philosophical question, and getting a clear, concise response. It was a good day in my soul.
Ideas continue to float in my head. As I mentioned in my last post, I am beginning to articulate the thesis for the book I knew I would always write. The basic idea is that there is value in wandering and the wilderness experience.
In fact, as I begin to unpack this, through various discussions – online and off – I’m learning that a wilderness experience isn’t always wandering. The Israelites took forty years to travel from Egypt to Canaan – but the philosophical, theological, spiritual, and intellectual distances are the only ones that we should really measure. Time and geography are unimportant. The real issues are the personal and corporate growth that occurred.
I have always had this particular theory (generalized, unfounded, and totally unsupported) about people who live in the Midwest. Philosophically, and quite possibly genetically, they are not as adventuresome as those who have settled in the West. Ancestrally, the people in the Midwest chose to settle, rather than press on to the promised land of the Oregon Territory. While this may or may not be true, the point is, we often refer to those who chose to build their homes in the Midwest as settlers. Those who journeyed further on the Oregon Trail, we refer to as pioneers. Fundamentally, I believe this is the difference between my temperament and those who choose traditional churches.
Many churches discovered certain “truths” and erected institutions around those truths. The people were content with what they refer to as “the truth” – but in reality, these truths (lower case) are merely understandings. As the video above illustrates, knowledge is increasing so rapidly that we can no longer afford to build a fortress around what was once relevant. In the time it takes you to read this sentence, Present Truth, becomes past truth. What was true for church pioneers 150 years ago, except for some foundational principals, has grown stale. What is the present truth for the 21st century – and my children?
I can no longer afford to wait within the walls of the settlement for relevancy to find me. I must gather my supplies, prepare for the journey, and move out into the wilderness of discovery.
However, I was created to be in community (common-unity). We are meant to be in community. Like my ancestors, I know it would be foolish to attempt the wagon trail alone. A journey of this magnitude is best achieved within community. There is safety in numbers. What I don’t find in church today is people who have the will, the craving, the strength, and the courage to venture outside of the safety of the settlement. People who are willing to cooperate and compromise towards a common goal of personal and corporate growth.
That’s what I crave.
What about you?
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(Settler vs pioneer: depends on your perspective. Where did the settlers come from?)
Isn't this the task of all humans–to find the truth that is relevant for them at their time and in their place? And to recognize that what is true for me may not be true for the person sitting next to me? And to offer them grace anyway?
Thank you Kelly – indeed, it is about perspective. I agree completely. What I'm trying to say (and I know these past few posts have been somewhat disjointed, I'm seriously trying to capture the thoughts as I process through them) is that it is OK to stop and rest, recuperate, and retool – in preparation for the journey ahead. Some of us are in different places than others in respect to this.
For me, and from my understanding of the calling, is that we are in real danger when are unwilling, or unable to pack-up and move on for the next leg of the journey.
I have friends and acquaintances that may need more time to rest – and I understand that, and have no negative feelings in their regard. I offer grace to those siting next to me – but in my case, I just can't sit here any longer.
Where I'm really struggling is with the overall gestalt that church is a refuge, or an institution, and not a movement.
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Of course it's ok to take time off. More people should. Few people (if any) are called to perpetual restlessness.
Where do you see yourself in relation to the church (however you define it for yourself: body, institution, movement)? What is the church for you? What purpose does it serve for you?
That's a good question Kelly, and one I'm trying to figure out.
Initially, 20+ years ago, my aim was to get involved and make a positive difference. Eventually I grasped church planting as "the" answer to the issues I see. That was working out well – until I realized that the denomination wasn't willing to support something that far out of the box – regardless of it's success (BTW, my brother, one of the more successful church planters, came to the same realization – which is why he is now at a settled church.) – that was a harsh reality within itself.
I tried to make the switch to a settled church, but got fired in the process. Yes, I made some mistakes – but the real reason I got fired was because I tried to rouse them out of their settled-ness (is that a word?)
As I've said before, the native Americans had a saying: "If the horse is dead, get off."
All I know is that I've been beating on this issue for too long – and the Serenity Prayer teaches me to let go. I'm letting go. But it is hard – because I don't know what the next steps are.
These last few blog posts are just me trying to process through this – with a bit of crowd-sourcing conversation.
(And what did the pioneers do when they got to where they were going?)
In the case of my family, as pioneers, I'm not sure we've really settled yet. My Dad has continued to take risks (e.g. started a couple of businesses, moved out of the county/state where the rest of his family lives, etc).
Spiritually, I'm not sure we will ever settle – at least on this side of eternity. As I mentioned, we shouldn't measure the Israelite's journey out of Egypt in terms of mileage or time, we should measure their personal and corporate spiritual growth and maturity.
I have found the "honest" persuit of truth takes one places they never intended to go. Those who claim they are philosophical pioneers are the most vehement builders of walls establishments and forts. Is it the philosophical, settlers, or pioneers that should be our models. I think not, it is the mountain men. Those who don't fear to wander alone and deal with what they find regardless of what it is. They will never have a great following and they will always be alone because the things they discover are not the things most people are seeking.
Isn't it ironic that I attended Jim Bridger elementary school and learned to swim at David Douglas High School. My great-grandparents came to Oregon on the Oregon Trail, and I now live on the Lewis and Clark Trail.
It's in my blood!
99.9% of self declared truth seekers are just looking for validation in someone elses opinion. Truth seeking is not for the faint of heart. Of its very nature considerable time has to be spent in the pursuit of validation. The genuine test of your metal comes when you discover a great deal of the validation you seek is based on "shifting sands". That is where your search just begins. You will find very few people who want to travel beyond this point.
Sometimes KC, you are very eloquent in so few words. Some of the complaints leveled towards me in 50+ years have to do with cooperation, or the lack thereof; or, the lack of social pleasantries. On my journey I have sought to better fit in, while still having personal moral integrity. It isn't easy, but I have to say there are benefits. But this may be one of those times…
Hmmm, careful Gary~ just because some may not be seeking what YOU are seeking, or sharing your same desires and goals doesn't mean they've necessarily SETTLED…as in for less. Some of us midwestern settlers are actually stopped and planted because our "truths" are just THAT to us. The truth, and that's more than enough for us. Some of us ARE being fed to contentment and beyond and ARE very settled in a common-unity right here in the boring middle (as you see it). And quite frankly even beyond that, we are all on our own spiritual journey but God might just call some of us to stop and be still for awhile despite our goals of moving forward in our own agenda because He has people we need to serve. Even in that boring middle 4 walled place you call the house of misery. I have a church home that I SERVE. Through that God had blessed me spiritually beyond my dreams and opened numerous other spiritual doors for me to worship and be fed outside the box.
Karen, I'm wondering why my discontent with the status quo seems to be threatening to you?
You seem to be putting words into my mouth?
Lol, nope Gary not threatened. I couldn't be more secure in where I am in my own personal journey. Just pointing out that for some of us it hasn't grown stale at all….even in the traditional old church world.
I guess I feel a sense that you think I'm using the word "settler" in a pejorative sense? I suppose that is the danger of labels – which for me is a sort of verbal shortcut.
As I wrote in my reply to Kelly, above, I do offer grace for those who choose to be comfortable. But, this is a difficult debate that is raging in my soul. It isn't easy to set out alone and to leave one's family and loved ones. It isn't easy to leave the safety of the settlement. It isn't easy to be a pioneer. I'm really not trying to denigrate anyone else's choices, as much as I am trying to understand the "Winter of my Discontent."
Does that make sense?
On the other hand, I don't believe the church was ever called to be settled. Without getting overly polemic, I believe the Bible and SOP are pretty clear on this. We are, as Abraham so clearly stated: "Strangers in a strange land."
I hear a lot of discontent in your writings and verbally. I think we all grow discontent at times, every day perhaps, and sometimes for weeks or more at a time. In actuality, I want to get away from my parenting job almost every day and escape into the wild blue yonder for a good long time but I don't. Because, in my mind this is why I have a TRUE NORTH, Jesus Christ, through Scripture. I can have some urges or desires or wants or needs or frustrations or whatever, but I always fall back to Scripture and what it says, not just how I feel, think. So, my question to you is: how much time are you investing in Scripture? I know you are a knowledge and idea maven and love to absorb and bounce "stuff" off of others, but where does your Scripture time with God come in? How (what?) are you being grounded through all of this wandering, searching, and looking?
Well now, good questions.
For this melancholy, it is difficult to do things when I don't "feel"
like it. And without the love, support, and common-unity withing
spiritual fellowship, it is difficult to feel like I want to move
forward.
Discipline is something I struggle with – but in the last week, I had
significant progress in the journey. The Word, through audio, has been
very powerful this past week, or so!
It would be nice/good/helpful to be able to unpack these inghts with other.
I would agree with you that there is a time for many things-to uproot or to rest. Reading Ecclesiastes 3 thru your eyes (or trying to) is interesting.
As you know, my beautiful wife, Ecclesiastes is one of my favorite books. I believe Solomon and I have much in common. The passage you refer to is often used selectively. Some will tell you it's OK to weep, but not to dance; as well, it is OK to plant, but never to uproot.
Ultimately, Solomon's charge is to enjoy the wife God gave me – and that is my #1 focus. But also, I cannot sacrifice the greatness and abundance, for the merely good.
No insights here just letting you know that I am following along as you discuss your journey…
I did find this interesting though, "Ultimately, Solomon's charge is to enjoy the wife God gave me…"
Kim
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Thanks Kim. I appreciate knowing you haven't bailed from the conversation.