Comments on: Parenting the Parents

By: gwalter

gwalter — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:11:49 +0000

Yeah Terre, I never really knew your dad very well. I can’t even imagine the pain of losing the two most significant men in your life in one event. Like I’ve told a number of people, I didn’t really understand that pain until my Mom died – now, I get it. I’m sorry.

By: Why teach your kids to be patient? | Parenting Help in Hawaii

Why teach your kids to be patient? | Parenting Help in Hawaii — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:15:40 +0000

[...] Parenting the Parents Â« Confessing my Dad Attitude [...]

By: Terre

Terre — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:07:55 +0000

Thanks Gary for posting your thought on your dad’s aging. We are of the generation (around 50) where we begin to be forced to realize that our parents will not be around much longer. And even more importantly, that WE will be taking care of them as they regress. It is all part of life, and I appreciate your raising this issue.

(I didn’t realize just how wonderful my dad was until after his untimely death. Thanks for being at the memorial and your words.)

By: gwalter

gwalter — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 16:22:28 +0000

It was about 20 years ago when another of the chiefs I worked with lost his Dad. Though I didn’t know Dave that well, nor did I understand the immensity of losing a parent, I was struck buy the thought of having the top layer gone – no one to oversee, seek advice, or play backup to my life screw ups.

Losing my Mom three + years ago really taught me the meaning of death. In fact, I’ve gone to several friends and made this speech:

“When (your parent/child/spouse) died, I tried to be appropriately sympathetic. But after my Mom’s death, I just want to say, ‘I get it now and this time I’m really sorry.’”

Losing my Dad will be very hard. He’s the only man I’ve truly worshiped.

By: Rodrigo Andres

Rodrigo Andres — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:44:29 +0000

My father is the same exact way! If anything seems off to him he just denies it. It can be really annoying but I do it too haha.

By: Karen

Karen — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:31:23 +0000

We’re not there yet, on either side. Praise God for how healthy our parents have been! But we are thinking about the when and where and ifs…

By: rog

rog — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:18:14 +0000

Hmmm ……. Fun.

By: gwalter

gwalter — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:09:09 +0000

Indeed, and I agree. I may go over some day and find him dead in his recliner, but that is his choice.

I too take several meds per day – but with young kids in the house, the commercially available med containers aren’t suitable – so I’ve had to find more creative methods to jog my memory.

I did ask him if he thought it would be good to move in with someone and establish relationships before things got bad? “Nope!”

He will fight us, every step of the way!

By: Therese Allen

Therese Allen — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:03:15 +0000

From Facebook:

Thanks for posting this. You are really going through what folks are calling the sandwich generation. It was hard for me when my dad got sick, but I couldn’t help him except emotionally. I think that counted for something, but it is nowhere what you are going through.

However as someone who has always lived on her own (since 18), not to mention I’m very independent, I can appreciate him wanting to stay on his own. No matter how hard it is for kids, I still think parents should be able to make their own decisions as long as they don’t appear to be harming anyone, including themselves.

And regarding medication: I used to have someone measure mine out for me because someone was stealing from me. I don’t have that problem anymore, but I still put them out in their containers for each day, and that includes breakfast, lunch, dinner, bed. We can’t always remember when we take something, especially when it is so automatic.

By: gwalter

gwalter — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 21:39:21 +0000

My Dad, the eternal optimist, doesn’t really lie, bend the truth, or forget (in the food category that is), he just denies. Denial is his favorite tool.

He would totally fail in a POW camp next to Admiral Stocksdale. (see the book, Good to Great)