Job 15:11 – “Is God’s comfort too little for you? Is His gentle [W]ord not enough?
Since leaving my previous life and career, I have had several periods where I needed comfort. First, there was the grieving that came from leaving my family, job, and life in Portland. Then there was the grieving process of leaving some of the best friends I ever had, when I left Loma Linda. My time in Berrien Springs was a real breaking time — a time when God stripped me of a lot of sin and character flaws. Rock Springs was not easy and I had some times of pain there. Now, the whole church planting process has been hard and God is once again breaking me of some of my character flaws. Indeed, the setback we experienced through the breakup of Central was quite painful.
In all those times, I often looked to people to relieve my pain. But, like Job’s friends, most people didn’t understand me and I often got unnecessary, and/or worldly advice. It was tough and continues to be tough learning to rely upon God.
This must have been a tough time for Job.
At Jen’s last OB appointment, she was told that we’d need another ultrasound in order to look closer at an anomaly. They wanted to look closer at the Choroid Plexus. Jen called back to get more information, but details remained sketchy. Apparently this condition often clears up by the 30th week of gestation.
Today I did some more research on this and discovered that it is a Choroid Plexus Cyst that we are concerned about. It can be indicative of Downs Syndrome or other chromosomal abnormalities. Yet, the risk is less than 1%.
In fact, it is estimated that 50% of adults have Choroid Plexus Cysts and have little if no symptoms from this.
I’ve been taking this with a grain of salt. Thinking that if this was a real issue our Dr. would have sounded the alert. However, after reading several articles, I’m a little more concerned. I’ve been brushing this off, but today I got more concerned.
But, as I read today’s readings, I was comforted by God’s peace. Job’s friend Eliphaz asks Job, “Isn’t God enough for you?”
I was struck by the power of these questions. Yes, He is enough. there is nothing that could bring me to greater peace than God. What if our baby is born malformed ar disabled? Isn’t that just temporary in the scheme of things?
We are all disabled. We have all been hurt and wounded by sin’s effects. In fact, there are things that mess us up worse than birth defects. Sin, our conscious choice to sin, affects us far worse than physical defects.
That’s what struck me. If I chose to defile myself with sex, drugs, anger, pride, the occult, or any number of other dangerous things — well, am I not wounded just as badly? Just because it is my soon to be born child, I don’t want anything bad to happen to it. I want to protect him/her from the danger of life.
Shouldn’t I be just as concerned for myself, my friends, my family, and those who I have influence over. Shouldn’t I be pained by their poor choices? Shouldn’t I worry more about the things that can kill the soul — not just what can kill the body?
So, here’s the deal. I’m growing. I’m learning what it means to love something more than myself. But what I hear God saying is that I should grieve more for the pain of sin in other people’s lives than over something temporal like a Choroid Plexus Cyst — which may or may not be indicative of Down’s syndrome.
God is in control. If our baby is born disabled, it is in God’s hands. He has promised to take care of me. He loves me more than I love myself. He knows the past, present, and future. He promised that He wouldn’t let anything happen that I can’t handle, without providing an escape. Indeed, He even promises that I would make the same choices He makes, if I could see things the way he sees them.
So, if our baby is born disabled, I will trust in God. I will trust Him and Jen, I, and the baby will move forward in His love — and in faith. In addition, I’ll be more aware of the pain and suffering in other people’s lives. I’ll grieve the loss of their innocence. I’ll work harder to prevent sin from destroying them. I’ll seek harder to protect them from Satan and his temptations.
Dear God. Boy, what a morning this has been. It is interesting to go through this kind of surrendering process while the rest of the world is “marrying and giving in marriage.” Not that their issues and plans are not important, it is just that it seems that other people don’t have a clue to the struggles of other people. We walk around acting as if everythng is all right, yet it isn’t.
People are facing temptations, pain, grief, and ugliness on a moment by moment basis — yet we selfishly think we’re the only ones with issues.
Please God, forgive me for no putting other people first. Please forgive me for not understanding the issues others face. Please forgive me for thinking I’m the only one with pain.
Lord, today, I put my trust in you. I faithfully believe you will let me experience the abundant life. I don’t think everything will be “fine,” but I do know that you are in control and I will walk confidently with you. Teach me to be more faithful everyday.
I love you Lord!
I believe you will prevail.